— Your girlfriend is without a doubt wishing she was single. She simply doesn’t have the guts to break up with you. You probably give her everything she needs and wants (money, rides, gifts, cuddle buddy) but she is getting laid by someone else. Man the hell up and walk away dude. Plain and simple. lew00

She knows that I love her and that I will leave her if things don’t change

My girlfriend for over four years has gone from showing affection relentlessly for the first two years and now shows zero affection. Our sex life was amazing for both parties and now sex and/or affection in general is non-existent. We are both attractive people so that is not a problem (although sometimes I naturally think it is). Also, she never says she loves me, but previously she used to tell me all of the time. Part of this is because her mom probably told her 10 times ever that she loved her. When her mom says it to her now, she always turns to me and doesn’t know what to say back.

She came from a family (her mom as her real dad left when she was 2 years old) that showed no affection/love whatsoever, so initially she yearned for sex 24/7 (as she did with men prior to me). She, like so many other girls, thought this would make guys like her more but now realizes that it doesn’t. She is now much more mature and is desperately trying to get her life together as she is 24 and I’m 32, hence I know stress plays a major role in her life.

She knows this bothers me, but of course I have heard every excuse in the book as to why she doesn’t want to. And I will note that I know that she is faithful and is not interested in other people. I firmly believe that she is just very depressed and stressed about life, so her sex drive is non-existent. Not matter what she says though, as a guy, I naturally think it is me.

My husband doesn’t want sex or affection, but shows it liberally to the kids and dog

This past weekend I told her point blank that I just cannot do “us” anymore because of this and walked away. About 15 minutes later she came to me and said, “Just give me a little time to sort out my life and if things don’t change then you can leave me.”

My question is what should I do in the meantime? Should I act more distant and minimize how much I randomly say I love you or call her things of endearment? Not bring up sex? I have got to the point where I don’t even initiate anymore because I know that I will get rejected. Any advice or tips are greatly appreciated. Other aspects of our relationship have been much better recently and that is why I am still here.

Last thing, a perfect example was this past weekend. We had tickets for an electronic show and the day of she said that she needed to sleep at her place after the show/night, gave me every crap reason as to why, and essentially said that I was not welcome. She knew that we were going to be intoxicated (on things besides alcohol) and didn’t want to put us in a position where she might “make herself sugardaddy al vulnerable.”

Reading some of those posts makes me feel like I am reading my own story! I feel so lonely, ugly, and unloved even though other men still find me attractive. Sometimes I think we who are not getting the affection we need should swap spouses with others in the same boat. The cold people deserve each other. stevenhill