I personally don’t have a problem with people showing small amounts of affection in public either. I find that most people who have problems with affection seem to hate public displays, although excessive amounts of PDA and baby talk does get annoying.

She tells me she loves me and wants to be with me but can’t even be affectionate at a basic level

I have to believe at this point of my life that I am just not like many people. I also look at affection as something people have made to be more important than it really is, regarding how people think we are “supposed to” show affection if we are in a relationship. It seems sometimes that people get all twisted up inside when they see couples who are not affectionate and ask what is wrong.

This leads me to another point. I believe some people are so jealous and insecure, maybe even fearful about their relationship the way it stands or of the possibility of it ending, that they tend to show affection to constantly make themselves feel the relationship is OK and there is no sign of infidelity or the end of what they cherish. I have a friend who has told me he will touch his woman in public and kiss, hug and whatever else is necessary to let other men know that “she” is “his” and that no one should try to show interest in her.

Neither of us are affectionate in my relationship and people say things to the both of us regularly, as if we are obligated to show everyone around us that we are, in fact, together

In my opinion, the whole argument over whether one should be affectionate or not has really gotten blown out of proportion. Just as not being affectionate can be looked at as strange and could be an issue with that person, I would say, so could being obsessed with needing affection. Both sides could have an argument for and against this reasoning. I see normal people who display a healthy amount of affection and I see nothing wrong with that. I also see nothing wrong with a couple who are not as affectionate and feel absolutely fine with their situation. What I think is more of an issue that people should address much deeper, is that feeling of such an overwhelming “need” for attention and affection from their significant other, that it actually affects their relationships, love life and controls their lives. Like my friend whom I mentioned who needs to show it for potential signs of infidelity and to announce to the world that his girlfriend is ‘his” woman. To me, it seems there are many more underlying issues than with those who are content with very little affection.

I suppose its all six of one and half a dozen of the other. Then again, it could all just be my opinion and I might be full of crap. Either way, I found the article interesting. anon3383

My girlfriend, whom I’ve lived with for just over a year is unaffectionate to the point of being cold. The only time we have ever made out was after I was going to leave her when I found out she had been cheating on me for five months with her ex.

I stayed and am slowly regretting my decision. We just argue all the time because she is just incapable (or unwilling) to change. She blames her lack of desire to be affectionate on my neediness, which is a direct result of her lack of affection. It’s a catch-22, if you will. She never kisses me goodbye when I go to work and has only once greeted me with a hug on my return.