Then I kind of…put my foot in my mouth I guess. Bit of background, she’s Vietnamese Australian, and still lives at home. She was talking over text about how loud they could be, and I shared I once lived with a Vietnamese family and they’d often have friends over and talked loudly etc. I said tbh Vietnamese isn’t the most pleasant language.

Afterwards, my sponsor had me write my “sex ideal” – a list of traits I’m looking for in a partner. I developed a few passing crushes but never acted on them, dutifully sticking to the suggestion to avoid romantic relationships for the first year. I’d never dated—let alone had sex—without being under the influence. The gal you’re talking to sounds more like the first dude than the last. It sounds like she hasn’t gotten straight with herself, which means ultimately her alcohol issues will become your problem.

What do I say about my recovery in my profile?

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Can be complex at times, they can still be fruitful and wonderful like any other relationship.

I have been the alcoholic who others wanted to help, and I’ve soberly loved an active alcoholic, wanting to heal him when he was not ready to receive help. Although you cannot directly change another person’s behavior, you can control your own attitude and actions. For example, caring but firm detachment can be difficult but can help you maintain your own mental health.

A couple days ago we had sex for the first time after our 4th date and it was fantastic. He revealed to me afterwards I’m the first woman he’s slept with/dated since he’s been sober. He also told me that he spoke to his sponsor about me and his sponsor advised him to take it slow. I’m not loving the “when I give a lot and I try to be a good guy” whiny vibe, if I’m being honest.

Ready to join?

I mean, I figured she’d laugh it off, or call me out for it. I’m of another Asian background myself, and have bothing against Vietnam or Vietnamese culture, people etc. Ive been to Vietnam, lived in a Vietnamese area, love the food, have Viet friends etc. Wouldn’t care if someone said they disliked Singapore or Malaysia or Malay or whatever.

She may be serious about it someday, but I’d highly recommend you not hang around while she’s deciding. You shouldn’t feel pressured Click to change or hide your own social drinking. Order a drink with dinner, keep liquor in your home if you normally do.

These dating sites and apps are giving you the option of listing yourself and searching for non-drinkers. If there wasn’t a demand for it, they wouldn’t have it as a choice. Often those in recovery have struggled most of their life with self-image and self-worth. Usually, they carry a deeply seated sense of shame in who they are and what they have done. Learn about detox, treatment, costs, or anything else.

Why some people swear by Alcoholics Anonymous — and others despise it

If you react negatively, you are giving them an emotional out. Stay calm and avoid blowing up or having an emotional reaction to the situation. If you say or do something negative in response to the other person’s latest mistake, then they can react to your reaction. If you remain quiet, or if you go on with your life as if nothing has happened, then they are left with nothing to respond to except their own actions.

How to Manage a Relationship with a High-Functioning Alcoholic

I’m not saying that dating someone in the program is better than dating someone who has never experienced addiction or vice versa. In the end, it’s all going to come down to the individual person and where they are in their life compared to where you are in your life and how the two of you fit together. Dating after a major life change can be a serious challenge. In fact, of the three, dating while in recovery offers a unique set of challenges that can feel especially daunting.

— but when you’re in recovery it can be a huge deterrent to dating. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to take a break from alcohol? To give your body and mind a chance to refresh, recharge, and reset? If so, then you’ll be glad to know that Dry January has become an increasingly popular trend among those looking for lasting lifestyle changes. Discussion of dating, relationships, and the single life in folks over 50. Thoughtful of you to consider your lifestyle and how alcohol and other substances are included, assuming, in a non-addictive way.