That statistic suggests dating apps are basically a forum for public affirmation
On the heels of a bad breakup, Kristina, 27, wasn’t ready to find a new partner just yet. “I had a bruised ego . so I https://getbride.org/pt/mulheres-indonesias/ loved the idea of getting to pick from men who picked me first,” she remembers. “But most of all, it was a ginormous ego boost.” Kristina found herself using dating apps for validation, with no real intention of pursuing anyone she met online. “Every single time I swiped on a hot guy from the group, it was a match,” she explains. “I was so flattered.”
Kristina was using apps mostly to feel good about herself – and it turns out, this practice is pretty common. According to an study by MTV News & MTV Insights, 61% of respondents (ages 18-29) said they’re more interested in discovering who is attracted to them online than actually going out with anyone. And the reason why is obvious – it’s exciting to get that adrenaline rush when you receive a flirty message from someone hot. It’s similar to the validation you feel when you post a fire selfie that racks up tons of appreciative comments on Instagram. Everyone has insecurities, and hearing positive feedback from others can temporarily soothe some of that self-doubt.
“While we are using dating apps in the name of finding love, there’s also a selfishness that appears to be there,” Terron Moore, vice president and editorial director of MTV News, the site that conducted the study, tells Elite Daily. “And I don’t even know that you could blame anyone for that. I think we’re all self-interested in our own way.” He notes that although the study results showed a majority of people are looking for validation, this isn’t mutually exclusive with seeking out a partner. Forty-two percent of respondents said they’re looking for a long-term relationship, and 30% are looking to date people casually – even though they may be hoping to build their self-esteem as well.
Kristina admits that her dating spree made her feel “selfish” at times, but she still believes the experience helped her through a difficult phase of her life. “Using dating apps and seeing just how many guys there are out there who would date me helped me feel desirable again after being in a relationship that made me feel so unwanted and lonely,” she says. “I’m not proud of relying on male validation for confidence – and it was just one piece of the puzzle – but it definitely accelerated the process.” Though she planned on staying single for awhile, she met a guy after two months who she “fell hard and fast” for. Now, one year later, they’re still happily together.
She wanted an easy, drama-free way to boost her confidence – so she downloaded Tinder Gold, a paid Tinder upgrade that lets users swipe through people who have already swiped right on them
Using apps as a confidence boost can also help people keep their romantic prospects at an emotional distance. For Courtney, 24, using Bumble and Hinge for validation is a way for her to protect herself from heartbreak. “I deal with a lot of insecurity [and] anxiety around my romantic relationships, so by using the app more so for validation, I can control the narrative and my feelings.” she explains. She recently matched with one of her college crushes, and she felt comfortable knowing she could end the conversation whenever she wanted to. “It works short-term, kind of like the junk food of a dating life?” she says. “It gives you the rush of knowing someone likes you, without having to deal with the actual relationship or risk getting hurt.”
