To ask about each other’s day every day was enough to send me to the moon and back. I downloaded Skype so we could see each other’s faces for the first time. I’d tell her about the music I listened to and she’d tell me about her struggle to adapt to the cold. I told Sueco hembra her I wish I could hold her hands to make them warm. The yearning to meet IRL felt stronger every time we would talk, and when our Skype calls would be filled with dead air, the thought of being with her filled my mind. It burned my heart-or at least it felt like it. Blame it on the hormones.

There was a pattern: Every six months, we would catch up via Facebook Messenger, updating each other on what’s going on with our lives

It was a crazy setup in the beginning, one that was never made to last. She ended up dating someone in her area, and I focused on college.

But memory on the internet doesn’t work like ours. Every website that we have ever visited, every link that we have clicked, every interaction we’ve ever made online, is recorded. Everything we have ever done is stored in a server connected to all of the servers that make up the network of the internet. The memory of what happens can never be distorted, because what is there will always be there.

When I close my eyes, I am reminded of how lonely I really am. How lonely all of us are, despite living together with billions of people. Living in the 21st century, the world may feel as if it were getting smaller and smaller and smaller because of technology, but in truth, the distance is just the same. True connections can be made over the internet, but nothing feels better than having a face to see or a hand to hold.

Which makes the relationships that were made before that much more valuable to me

True connections can be made over the internet, but nothing feels better than having a face to see or a hand to hold.

We remained Facebook friends, and after a few years we ended up talking again. We would share our college woes, and would always wander into the same question: “Are you dating anyone?” Oddly enough, sometimes, she would say yes, sometimes I would say yes, but never both of us at the same time. Of course, I could just check her profile. But I wanted to hear it from her.

As the internet found its anchors and became an integral part of everyday life, the connections I’ve made with people via the internet solidified and also translated into real life. The Facebook page community of a decade past is now found in the interest-based Facebook groups of today. Online dating was always and still is a big business, with not just websites but also dating apps available. Meeting online friends IRL, I would argue, has never been safer since the default anonymity of previous platforms is long gone.

But back to M. The oddest, craziest thing happened last year: After a few missed attempts to meet in person whenever she would visit the Philippines, a family trip to Canada brought me to her town. Without giving all the details to my parents, I snuck out of the day’s itinerary to meet her. You think you know someone, given the years you’ve talked, but it’s really different when you see each other in real life. We went to one of her favorite restaurants, her university, and an indie bookstore. She was the only thing familiar in a foreign place.